The Whisper

It has been a busy week.  You know how those weeks go.  Seems like every minute is full and you can never fit everything you want to do in.  This is when your kids remind you of the simple, important things that make life worthwhile. 

Last night we had a lot of hubbub going on at dinner time and were rushing through getting everything assembled.  Just as I stuck the first bite in my mouth Liam started praying over dinner.  What a humbling experience.  What an amazing experience. I love that my son recognizes that even in the midst of "life" it is so important to stop and thank the One who makes it.  We don't find His voice in the earthquake.  We don't find His voice in the fire.  We don't find His voice in the wind.  We find His voice by listening for the whisper.  And so I write this simple reminder to not let life's noise drown out the whisper of God.  Remember to take the time for the simple thank You prayer.  As you do you will hear Him speaking back to you...encouraging you, lifting you up and loving you.   

Some Daily Lessons

Number Two keeping me up quite a bit at night

Number One waking me up way too early

First lesson of the day - wake up praising God and you will have a better attitude about everything else that happens that day.

Number One keeps saying he's hungry, but doesn't want any pf the quite extensive choices he's offered.

Dress Number Two then he eats quickly and falls asleep again.

Finally after much whining, pouting and prayer #1 decides to eat what he was given.

Lesson#2 - when losing self control (either or both you and your child)  taking to time to breathe and pray really will change the situation.

Get #1 dressed.  Get a load of laundry in.  Time to play.  During playtime #1 sticks something down the back of your shirt.  You spend time coloring and reading.  #2 wakes up insistently wanting to be fed.  Plan to go to the park after feeding so instruct #1 to clean up.  #1 goofs around and makes a bigger mess.  Arguing follows.  Tempted to lose my temper.  Tempted to just punish #1 and clean up the mess myself.  Take a moment to remember lessons one and two.  Remember that #1 needs to be taught the value of a) obedience b) doing things for ones-self and c) taking care of your things so they stay in good condition.  Teach those lessons through verbal reminder, punishment and assistance to complete the task.  

Finally get #2 dressed for the day.  Take a look at self and realize that I put my sweatpants on inside out and that's why they felt so funny.  Turn pants the right way.  Throw hair up and head out the door to enjoy the park.

Lesson #3 - Don't allow your children to hurt your feelings.  Remember that they are pushing your buttons so they can find where the line is.  We do the same thing to God.  Just like Him, as parents we need to help our kids know that the line is there for a reason and the consequences that follow aren't usually pleasant.  Love and kindness are what draw us back to His side of the line.  The same thing will work with our kids...this includes tough love.

Return from the park to have lunch.  Fortunately, after burning a bunch of energy at the park everyone is hungry and lunch goes easily.  Okay, time for naps.  It's a little work, but now all little people are sleeping.  Time to load the dishwasher, clean up the house, take a moment for social interaction and get interrupted because #2 is not really in the mood to nap.  Feed #2 AGAIN and spend time focusing on him and just playing baby games.  Attempt to complete some of the tasks one handed.  

Hubby returns home.  YAY!  

Lesson #4 - Your spouse is important.  To keep your marriage healthy you must spend sometime focusing on each other.  Respect your husband.  Acknowledge his arrival, don't just hand off the kid.  He will reciprocate by loving on you...this may include simply assisting you with the kids, a back rub, cleaning up or simply some words of encouragement.  It actually works this way...you show him respect, he shows you love.  If this isn't happening, I recommend evaluating your behavior.

Make dinner.  #1 wakes up from nap.  Everybody sits down to eat.  Time for us all to head out to do errands.  Return home and spend time in wind down play with #1.  Go through bedtime routine.  Okay, time to relax...oh wait, #1 is having a bad time and needs a little more Mommy cuddle.  Spend a few extra minutes with #1.

It can be beneficial to spend sometime worshiping with your kids if they are having a hard time falling asleep.  When you acknowledge the presence of God in the room it helps relax your children and reminds them to pay attention because God does speak to them in their sleep.  It also keeps you from anger at the fact you aren't getting to do what you want to do.

Finally time to sit back and relax, oh wait...need to go finish that load of wash I threw in this morning.  Okay, sitting back...what is that?  Oh, there's that turtle #1 put down my shirt and was looking for this afternoon.  Well, as long as I'm taking off my shirt I might as well grab a shower.  Ahh, time for bed.

Final lesson of the day - Now, the Lord is the Spirit and where the spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.(2 Cor. 3:17)  Allowing God to be a part of everything you do during the day brings a freedom to be filled with peace, patience, joy and love to name a few.  Whenever things seems simply to hard let go, breathe and recognize that God is with you.  Oh, and always check your shirt for curious items you might be missing.

Knowledge of the Divine

Jesus is God!
This is the revelation that my son has been telling me over and over since Easter weekend.  It is one of the most delightful things you can have your child tell you I think.  He hears the word God and his little face lights up and he looks at me or shouts out across the house...Jesus is God, Mama, Jesus is God.  Today we were listening to some of his music and they were singing God is so good and he shouts from the back seat Jesus is God, Mama. Then we talked about how the Father is also God and so is the Holy Spirit.  Then we talked about how they are all good.  I love, love, love talking about a relationship with God with my kids.
My desire is to teach my children how religion strangles the life out of you, but relationship fills you and enables you to live life to the fullest.  And yet, it's my children who are teaching this to me.  It's like...when you find out some good news about somebody in your life you just want to tell everybody about it.  That's what it's like when Liam tells me that Jesus is God.  He has this great news about his friend Jesus and he just wants to tell everybody.  The happiness that he spreads with me as he shares this news is all because he has a relationship with Jesus. When he goes to sleep at naptime and nighttime he talks to Jesus.  He talks his day over with Jesus and builds upon what they got going.  It's a reminder to me that a relationship is built upon time together.  We all have the opportunity to to talk to Jesus anytime.  We all have the opportunity to learn new and special things about Him and we all have the opportunity to share these things with everyone we know.  We can all be filled with joy and tell everyone we know that Jesus is God; God is good and Jesus God loves us!

A Yes Kind of Day

So often my first response to the kids requests is a flat out no. I honestly don't even take time to think about what I shot down half the time either. I have my agenda and nothing is going to disrupt that, not even a simple, "Mommy can you color with me?" Coloring usually lasts a whole 5 minutes. What is so important that I can't spend 5 minutes coloring?

Today I decided I would say yes to my kids. (Mainly just Bren since Ella is having a sleep over with my parents, and Connor really doesn't ask much.) It was a new day in the Graf house. I would default to yes for any "Can/May we DO" questions, but would not immediately answer on the "Can/May we HAVE" demands. I would not immediately shoot those down either; but strive to think about what was asked and answer appropriately. I feel very convicted about not creating entitled children. By giving into the haves; I take the first step to creating selfish beings who believe just by the mere sound of their voice asking for something it will be given to them.

Who will be able to have faith in a God who doesn't always answer prayers immediately or with the answer a person wants? God has given us each free will to DO whatever it is we want, though. Many times I've battled with what God's will is for my life. What does he want me to be doing. I've quickly learned it's not the detail of what I do, but it's the deeper issues of how & why I do what I do. What does my soul look like? Am I out to look good and reap earthly rewards, or am I living for my Savior, ready to stand before the Bema Seat an receive the crowns the Lord has for me? I hope by demonstrating in a safe environment (to a certain extent) that my kids can do whatever they want, so to speak, but consequences follow. If you really want mommy to color with you, dinner might be a few minutes later. Not an earth shattering ordeal. When my children approach me with the, "Mom, can I please have ..." I hope that they will see I sincerely stop, consider the impact the requested item will have on the current situation and/or Jacob & I's long term parenting goals, and I make a judgment call to the best of my ability. Similar to how God hears & responds to each and everyone of our prayers (how totally amazing is that?!).* What we can see of His plan for our life is just a tiny pin hole's worth. So God says, "Yes, Lisa you can do cake decorating, you can do volunteer work, you can do drugs, get wasted, you can do whatever you want. When you get serious and you want to live a life for me & align your priorities correctly, I'm going to be here to help clean up the ways of your past and your mistakes and we'll get you back on track the right way." (Another fun little side thought is that God knows every little sidetrack I'm going to make, he knows my mistakes, and yet ultimately uses those to bring Him glory. So we never get 'off track' technically!) However, when I approach His throne and ask God for a cure, for wealth, or anything tangible; I'm sure God ponders that. He doesn't want to create any entitled heavenly beings either!

Looking forward to practicing the new Yes Attitude when Ella rejoins our family. This will be more of a challenge as her attention span is much more focused and long lasting compared to a 2 year old boy's. Coloring could very well take an hour ... but yes we can color, we just might not be eating for a l o n g while!

* my ponderings are by no means an accurate representations of what God's intentions really are, or how he operates; just my personal interpretations.

Not sure if I'm happy with this one...I may edit later -Jess

2 Mom Lessons learned: 
Judging other's parenting will come back to bite you in the butt...
Letting your toddler try a new "healthy" food in his car seat is NOT the best idea...

Of course I wanted to go to the grocery store today to catch the sale on it's last day.  I had great intentions of walking there early in the day...instead my older son and I made dinosaur cookies.  My next plan was to go without the kids as soon as hubby got home from work...which of course didn't quite come together as planned. Final plan was that we would all head out together.  There were only two stores to go to...how bad could it be?  I thought it was a good sign that when we pulled into the 1st store there was a huge fire truck parked at the back of the lot.  Liam loved looking at the big fire truck and as we walked in three firemen walked out of the store.  It was a fun experience for a 2 year old.  I only had like 5 things only my list...simple I thought.  Turns out Liam was in a super excitable mood and wanted to run from one side of the store to the other.  I know I've done it...looked out of the corner of my eye at parents who let their kids, especially their boys, run wild around the store.  In my mind I determined that I would NEVER, EVER let MY kids do that. My kids were going to be well behaved little angels who who stand quietly by my side holding my hand.  And the truth of it is that Liam really is one of those little angels...through nothing that I have done.
A friend of mine once posted the following on Facebook and I loved it so much I have to add it to this post...

A few years ago I remember going to the store and wondering why some women go out in sweats and no makeup. Couldn't they spend a minute on themselves? Now I understand. I am one of those women.

Why are we so judgemental?  What makes us think we are or can do so much better job than anyone else?  I am learning more and more everyday that the only way I make it through the day is by the grace of God.
So, here we were two capable parents and our son was running up and down the aisle.  Fortunately, he wasn't screaming.  I do have a personal rule that I will leave a store no matter what if my kiddos get that disruptive.(probably until I get knocked off my high horse on that one)  We managed to get out the door without anything being knocked off of shelves and nothing being broken.
Going into store number two by myself seemed to be the wisest decision so I left hubby and kids in the car and dashed in.  This store has lots of bulk items and gummy bears being my son's favorite.  But wanting to be a healthier mom I thought I would pick out a piece of dried fruit for him to snack on.  Papaya was on sale so I picked out a spear for him to have on the way home.  Bright orange it looked like the perfect tempting snack for a two year old.  And the idea of it was.  He grabbed it with a huge smile and took a bite.  Which was quickly followed by one of the most upset faces I've seen in a while. Out it came spreading it's orange glow with it.  I attempted to get him to spit as much as we could into a garbage bag.  Of course we still had this huge spear of papaya so I offered it to my husband who casually remarked he never really cared for dried papaya, but still took a bite.  I thought, well, maybe I should try it too.  And a bit I took...followed moments later by me spitting into the garbage bag too.
Have you ever wanted to spit out something you thought God gave you?  I mean we think, hey it's from God, it's good for me, I'm sure it'll be good.  Starting to feel like it's more what the circumstances of life dish out to us that don't taste so good. Even if something looks good, doesn't mean it is good.   I think God is often the one that is holding the bag for us to spit bad stuff into.  This is my simple reminder to not swallow all that life dishes out.  Reflect before you taste on where it came from and see if it really came from God.  If it didn't...toss it into the garbage, don't even take a taste.  And if you do taste it, God will be there holding the bag.

Thinking Mom Style

Asking my husband to grab me a glass of water on his way back through the kitchen or to do something extra during his planned duty seems to send the man into mass hysteria. Not really mass hysteria, but pretty darn close. I think moms have been given this special talent/blessing/gift of multi-thinking/tasking.

Walk with me as I head to change Connor's diaper.
Pick up the set of 10 Stacking Cups so I don't fall and tear my other mcl, pick up dirty pajamas that Bren & Ella left on the floor and get them into the dirty laundry basket, along with one of Jacob's random socks, pick up and put away the fort making materials (blankets), shut the bathroom light off and close the door, make Ella's bed, organize a new package of diapers on the diaper shelf, get Connor on the table, change his diaper and recite 1st Corinthians 13:4-8 that's posted by my changing table.

Our house is modest at best, nothing to boast about really; so although it seems like my walk took forever, really it was over in the matter of a few minutes. I'm always thinking and planning ahead about what the most efficient way to get everything I should get done, on my way to what I need to get done immediately. How much so is our time on this earth relative to this short walk to change a diaper? Our average 80 years of life is such a mini blimp on the radar of eternity. It is empowering and humbling. God hand picked me for this time right now and has every step planned out before I was even born. A.M.A.Z.I.N.G! What will I do to impact the most people for Christ during my short walk here on earth? What am I doing today, right now, to show Him to others? Tomorrow is not always a guarantee, so whether you are walking to the other side of your house to change a poopy diaper or through court room doors; walk with your head held high in honor of Jesus who gave His life for you. Pray for Holy Spirit guidance & strength to take advantage of opportunities to reach out and pick up as many people as you can on your way to whatever it is you are going to do!

The look of a Mom...

You know you're a mom the day you realize that your hips have spread 

and they are never, ever going back into place again. 

~How many of you have that perfect picture of yourself?  I have one I really like when I was like 19.  I was sitting on the floor, turned toward the camera which was behind me, my hair looked good and I looked thin.  I have decided that once you have babies you can never quite think of yourself as thin again.  Oh, sure a lot of moms lose all the baby weight, even more, but we will never look quite the same again...at least to ourselves. Not too long before I got pregnant the first time, my husband told me that I have good birthing hips.  If you know my husband you would know that this was actually a compliment.  Now, I keep this memory as a badge of honor...I do have good birthing hips and I make beautiful babies.

~For me, being a mom is all about loving.  Really though I had no idea that I would be filled with so much love from the moment I knew I was carrying a baby.  My first labor was so hard that when I held my Liam for the first time I was so exhausted that I don't even think I smiled.  The pictures that we have don't reflect one anyway.  I have never admitted this before but I felt guilty about that moment.  I was so filled with love for this little one that I had waited so long for and I was so completely worn out.  I decided that I would get over my guilt because that is no good thing for a relationship.

Finn, my number two popped out with hardly any effort that it was easy to hold him and smile and say 'Momma loves you' over and over.  Honestly though the pictures aren't any better.  Just goes to show you that it doesn't matter what you feel you can never count on a picture to make you look good...and secondly, when you have a picture with a  newborn baby, nobody is looking at you.

Today as I held my Finn against my chest and he spit up down my shirt as I read Liam a story before his nap I realized that it doesn't matter what I look like or when the last time I had a shower was, all that matters is that I am showering my boys with all the love I feel in my heart.  May they always see the size of my heart and know that they are worth everything!  My hips have spread and will never go back to the smaller size they once were, but so has my heart and that is what truly makes me a mom.