Your Eyes Are A Rolling at "I sure miss those days"

When the tears don't stop and you feel completely worthless, totally helpless, and a complete failure at parenting ... you know you are a mom.

So often being a mom gets painted with a bright rosy tint by older moms who forgot those days that dragged on, the sassy words that stung your soul and burned your ears, the punishment that hurt you worse then it hurt your child, and the heart ache that mothering sometimes carries. In a world full of Susie home-makers with I'm Woman Hear Me Roar/I Can Do It attitudes, who hold down a full time job, have 3 children, take fancy vacation, drive the Lexus, have perfect bodies, perfect hair, perfect kids, perfect, perfect ... perfect facade actually. Our country is obsessed about image and materialism. How important is it that as a Christian mom we link arms, bow our heads, and we prophetically pray away Satan and his attempts at our children through our pocketbooks, our possessions, and our statuses. The next time an older mom looks at your discombobulated self, juggling a baby on your hip as you dig through your purse of crumpled diaper receipts to find your keys and she begins to reminisce how she misses 'these days' don't feel guilty for thinking she must be off her rocker! Sure she misses the sweet moments of I love you mommy, hugs that squeeze your knees, open mouth baby kisses, and those precious cuddle times, but I'll guarantee she's not missing the poopy diapers, the sassy attitudes, the hurtful & rash verbal abuse, and having to make those tough parenting calls.

I am so thankful for God who, according to Isaiah 41:11, "tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young." God isn't slapping the ruler on my house expecting complete parenting perfection. He gently guides me as I join with my husband and have dedicated myself to raising up 3 beautifully unique children to love the Lord, to have integrity, and to show fruits of the spirit in their life. His grace and mercy are new every morning. His strength carries me through those times when I fall on my knees, tears flowing, and my arms raised in complete surrender of myself and my child. God didn't present me with 3 manuals on how to raise Ella, Brennan, and Connor on their birthdays. He presented me with 3 lifetime opportunities to model my relationship with Him, seek Him for my every need, trust in Him (Proverbs 3:5-6), and instructed me to train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. (Proverbs 22:6) Sometimes these opportunities are not pretty, being a mom is not at all about outward appearances, but in training a child's heart. Always look to the Lord during these overwhelming and down right ugly times because he instructs us to, "Rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." (Romans 5.3-5)

Lord, I pray for the mom who knows all to well the feelings of failure, helplessness, and unworthiness. Lift her up, encourage her, give her strength, daily renew her mind and soul so she can model to her children what a daily walk with you looks like. It's ok to feel not so lovey dovey about being a mom, this is tough work. Lord, remove the self guilt we moms place on ourselves. Remove the proverbial perfect mom who we are continually falling short of and replace her with a mental picture of a shepherd tending his flock and gently caring for each of the mothers. Guiding us in raising our lambs to love the Lamb of God and make that relationship their own. We thank you and rejoice in these parenting trials because out of them we will grow and our children's faith will be established and fed. We praise you for your grace and mercy and the strength to wipe away the tears and cling to you with every last ounce of energy we can muster. Grant us the ability to have faith, even as tiny as a mustard seed, in you as we journey through this parenting thing. Thank you for each of our blessings you have so graciously granted us!

Test Post

Jess - tell me what you think of this. I need something to the point and stingy to post on my blog. I don't want to defend my choice to go, that's already been made. However, I don't feel the judgements I've been getting are justified. I know i can never please everyone, but maybe I can shed new light on what it means to be a young mom. You wouldn't believe some of the things people have said to me - I chalk it up as the devil really doesn't want me going, and is going to try hard to get me to stay and I'm not staying!

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Recently, my husband & I have decided to go to Burkina Faso, Africa on a missions trip with our church in September. It wasn't an easy decision to make and it most certainly wasn't made in haste. I'm not expecting some religious lightening bolt kind of experience when I get there, but I am expecting change. I didn't expect as much opposition as I've already faced within the past month or so, having discussed the trip with friends and family.

I don't feel the need to defend my choice to go as much as I need to speak up about being a mom and how so often a mother's identity is completely lost during the early stages of motherhood. Once a mother always a mother, but how crucial are these early years when your children rely on you for just about every need! I understand this completely. Why is it that so many women lose their identity when they become a mom? How many countless facebook profiles and picture albums are all pictures of a person's kids? I'm proud of my kids, too, but my identity isn't totally in being their mom. How many moms go through depressions and lose all their friends once their kids go to college or move on after high school?

I'm not saying I'll be glad to see my children go, but I'm going to be happy and celebrate that new part of their life with them, having complete confidence that my husband & I raised children who will be an asset to the Lord & a light to the world. I'm not discounting the importance of being present when your kids are young, or pre-teen, teen, or adult for that matter. I am a stay-at-home-mom after all, obviously being physically present with my children is extremely important to my husband & I.

Being a mother defines who I am as much as your job defines who you are. If I pour my every waking moment into being Ella, Brennan, and Connor's mom with no thought of anything outside of that 'title' what do I have left when they are grown & don't need to rely on mom to change their diapers, discipline, help them with school work, live the junior high & high school drama out, pick a college, plan a wedding, birth a baby? Of course I will be proud of my kids as they get older (heck, I'm pretty proud of them at 4, 2, and 1); I will also be proud to hopefully be running a successful cake business, I'll be the proud wife of Jacob, and most importantly I'll be proud to be Christ's disciple.

As a young Christian mom it's hard to keep my priorities in line. First, I'm a child of God, second I'm a wife, and thirdly I'm a mother. No, a missions trip is not a bad idea or a dishonor to God. However, if I went on this missions trip without the support of my husband or having planned for the proper care for my kids then YES, it would be dishonoring to God. I will miss my kids, but I will not be so distraught as to not being able to function on the mission field. My kids will probably miss me, but they will have so much fun with grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends. We will both appreciate each other a little more when Jacob & I get back. As I'm sure I'll be much more appreciative of just about everything I've been blessed with.